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 A
Time to Laugh!
by Karyn Buxman
Copyright
© 2009 Karyn
Buxman www.KarynBuxman.com
Published
by Permission from Author
The Invisible
Disabilities Advocate
www.InvisibleDisabilities.org
“If you would just be a little stricter
with him, I’m sure he would straighten up.” I stared dumbly into
the face of one
of Adam’s teachers, after my son had missed almost six months of school from
debilitating headaches.
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My heart sank. My stomach twisted. This
person saw my son in between his headache episodes and saw a typical teenage
boy—laughing, teasing, joking around.
What she hadn’t witnessed was the
tortuous episodes that no doctor was able to diagnose; the painful
attacks that began when he was 13 years old, out of the blue. Soon we
saw a pattern emerge.
The
attack would begin with an itching burning sensation on his temple that
would last about 30 seconds. This would be immediately followed by a
taste in his mouth that he described as “bad bananas,” another 30
seconds. Then he would be hit with an explosive pain across the front of
his head that would throw him to the floor, thrashing in pain, pulling
his hair, kicking his feet, crying out in agony. This part of the
‘headache’ lasted about 10 minutes and during this time, he was aware of
his surroundings but couldn’t hear due to the loud metallic clanging
noise that filled his head.
And then, as suddenly as it began, the
explosive pain would stop, leaving a heavy dull headache in its place. It was at
this point, immediately following the explosive portion of the headache, that
Adam would get a tingling sensation on the bottom of his feet, and then he would
be paralyzed from the neck down for about 90 minutes. Gradually over an hour and
a half, he would regain the use of his hands, then his arms and then finally his
feet and legs.
Sometimes the headaches would be weeks,
even months apart. At their peak, he might experience 6-8 episodes a day.
Adam went from being an enthused and happy
student in the gifted program with straight A’s to a depressed and disheartened
young man who shared, “My teachers get paid the same whether I pass or not. They
don’t care about me.”
While the educational system had already
made up their minds, the medical world was very interested in Adam's condition.
Which wasn't necessarily the same as being interested in Adam.
Doctors lined up outside his room like kids
in a candy store. Everyone wanted to take a crack at this medical mystery. One
after another, neurologists would come in and ask him the same series of
questions that had been asked time and time again.
At one point, a neurologist came in
dragging a tripod and video camera in with him. Adam sat on the bed, legs
dangling over the side while the doctor set up the camera, turned it on, and
settled into a chair across from Adam. He pulled out his pen, looked down at
Adam’s chart and then ceased to make eye contact for the rest of the interview.
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Making It Work |
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Here are some techniques for
transforming your life with humor and laughter.
Surround yourself with the right people. Seek ways to spend more
time with the people that make you laugh and that enjoy your company. Life is
too short to spend it with people who can only focus
on the negative.
Be proactive—manipulate your environment. Keep funny books,
audios and toys within reach. Refer to them at least once a day.
Be proactive—manipulate your
mindset. If you have a challenging situation, exaggerate it until you can laugh
at the audacity of it. Practice looking for the humor around you.
Take a risk—be willing to
appear silly to others. No one ever died from looking foolish, and the benefits
far outweigh the risks. Be willing to laugh at yourself.
Be in the moment—play when the
occasion arises. Don’t wait until you feel better to play. Play and then feel
better.
For more tips,
techniques, and resources go to
www.KarynBuxman.com. And don’t miss the opportunity to hear Karyn speak at
the
Second Annual Banquet and Auction for IDA in Denver on
October 18, 2009.
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Adam was resigned to answer the same litany of questions again when this
neurologist threw him a curveball. “Have you ever experienced déjà vu?” he asked
without looking up. Without missing a beat, Adam leaned toward the doctor and
said, “Didn’t you just ask me that?”
Adam and I doubled over with laughter,
perhaps a little slap happy from the tedious day of exams. The doctor paused,
and then without ever looking up said, “Clever.” While the doctor didn’t seem to
benefit from the humor, Adam and I were rejuvenated by the small bit of comic
relief.
Indeed humor became such an important
coping mechanism for Adam that, six years later, he went on to school in Chicago
to study with Second City. He has incorporated the art of Improv into his
personal and professional life.
Humor was not, is not, the be-all-end-all,
for us. There was time for laughter; there was a time for tears. Both are
healing. But we found that it’s much less upsetting to those around us if we
laugh, rather than cry.
When one is in pain, it is sometimes hard
to believe that humor is available. Yet it is there, just as the stars are there
during the day—we cannot see them when we are blinded by the light that keeps
them hidden from us. We trust that they are there and will become evident to us
again, when the time is right.
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