Sherri's experience isn't unusual. Many
people assume that handicapped parking is reserved for those who use
wheelchairs and find it hard to believe that someone like Sherri, 37,
who walks normally and looks perfectly healthy, could possibly be sick.
Even family members, friends, and caregivers can have trouble
understanding the invisible symptoms of MS, which can include weakness,
pain, fatigue, vertigo, and bladder and sexual problems, as well as
cognitive changes such as difficulty in thinking clearly and memory
loss.
After Sherri recovered from her first MS
exacerbation - numbness on her left side that prevented her from walking
- a friend asked if she was afraid of losing disability payments if the
local social service agency discovered that she was able to walk again.
If she could walk, the friend said, surely she could work. "I
could work in a wheelchair. It's the fatigue and the pain that sometimes
keeps people with MS from working," Sherri said.
"Most people with MS are not in
wheelchairs, and we're not in hospitals all the time, either," says
Liz Knepper, 28, of Chicago, IL, whose primary MS symptom is vertigo.
"People at work who knew I had MS would say 'Oh, you got
dizzy? That's not too bad.' But I'd go to sleep with my hand
pressed against the wall to steady myself and wake up feeling that the
room was spinning out of control. You can often explain fatigue,
numbness, or vision problems, but when you tell people you are dizzy,
they just don't get it." Even good friends can be
inadvertently insensitive. "Sometimes friends bring me
dinner, but they come too late or stay too long. I don't have the
heart to tell them that I'm tired or ask them to leave," explains
Liz.
Speaking Out About Symptoms
"It is important for people with
invisible MS symptoms to describe what they're experiencing, so that
they can get the help they need," says Professor Jeffrey Greenstein,
MD, director of the Multiple Sclerosis Center at Temple University
Medical School in Philadelphia.
He urges his patients to educate friends,
relatives, caregivers, and coworkers about MS. MS ActiveSource, MS
society publications, and support groups are good sources of information
for a better understanding of MS symptoms.
These resources can also be used when
you're trying to explain your invisible MS symptoms. Try to
graphically illustrate how you feel. Describe how fatigue affects
you as specifically as you can: For example, "I'm so exhausted I
feel as if I would pass out if I tried to stand up." Tell
what your pain feels like: a knife scraping your skin; a hot iron held
to your leg. Or describe dizziness as Liz does: lying in bed with
your hand pressed against the wall to steady yourself. You may
have to remind people of what you've told them in the past: "Do you
remember me telling you about the fatigue (or dizziness, numbness, or
vision problems) I feel as a result of having MS?"
You can also get help in dealing with
problems related to invisible MS symptoms from Wayne and Sherri Connell's website,
www.invisibledisabilities.org, which they designed to help people with MS
and other chronic diseases deal with the "invisible" nature of
their disorders. Sherri sums up the dilemma this way: "Some
people think we have a chronic disease because we are weak. We
need to help them understand that we are weak because we have a chronic
disease."