Home But You LOOK Good Booklet All About IDA  What People Are Saying  Help Loved Ones Understand

Help Be A Voice Make A Donation IDA's Favorite Books   IDA Featured Add Banner   Our Sponsors

Join IDA's E-News Join IDA's Support Group Links WebRings  Sign Our Guestbook  Contact

 

The Invisible Disabilities Advocate®

QUICK INDEX!

Shop IDA's Marketplace

Buy Books, CD's, Shirts, Gifts, Bumper Stickers, Mugs, Buttons & More!

Check It Out!

Welcome to IDA

 ▪ Home Page

Help People Understand

 ▪ Articles / Publications

 ▪ "Invisible" Disabilities?

 ▪ But You LOOK Good!

About IDA

 ▪ All About IDA
 ▪ What People Are Saying
  Who & What Is IDA
 ▪ Our Board Members

IDA Projects

 ▪ The CIA Campaign
 ▪ IDA Seminars & Events
 ▪ Memorial Funds
 ▪ Programs 4 People
 ▪ Service Animal Awareness

News About IDA

 ▪ IDA's E-News
 ▪ Press & Media
 ▪ Where IDA Is Featured

Shop & Support IDA

 ▪ Shop IDA's eStore
 ▪ Shop IDAstuff.com
 ▪ Shop the iGive Mall
 ▪ Search the Net
 ▪ Our Books & Pamphlets

Spread the Word

 ▪ 7 Ways to be a Voice

 ▪ Add IDA's Banner
 ▪ View Our Sponsors

Support/Communication

 ▪ Guestbook Sign / View

 ▪ Message Board
 ▪ Online Support Group

IDA's E-News!

Sign Up Today! Free!

Online Resources

 ▪ Links

 ▪ WebRings

Contact

 ▪ Contact IDA

 

GoodSearch cause banner

 

But You

LOOK Good!

 

52 Page Booklet for Friends and Family. What to Say, What Not to Say and How to Help!

 

ONLY $5.25 or Less
Price Includes US Shipping
 

 

~Click Here~

 

Being Sick Well cover shotBeing Sick Well

 

Written By

Dr. Jeffrey Boyd

Click Here

 

 

 

 

The Cleaner Indoor

Air Campaign

Sponsored by IDA

 

Memorial Funds

 

Set Up a Fund in Memory

of Your Loved One.

 

View Site in Spanish, Portuguese, French, German, Italian.

 

Disclaimer: The data contained in this web site are for informational purposes only and are not to be construed as medical or legal advice. IDA is not endorsing or promoting the content of other websites, by listing their links and cannot be held responsible for their contents. Please seek a medical or legal professional for advice.

 

Copyright © 2006

The Invisible Disabilities Advocate® All Rights Reserved. 

 

IDA is a 501(c)(3)

Non-Profit Organization

 But You LOOK Good!TM

Do Your Loved Ones Have a Hard Time Understanding Your Chronic Illness or Pain, Because to Them You LOOK Fine?

 

But You LOOK Good! is a 52 page booklet that gives those living with chronic illness and pain a voice about how they feel, what  they need and how others can be an encouragement to them. It is a convenient, informative way to educate loved ones about what people living with ongoing illness and pain struggle with, fight for and need from their friends and family. It is easy to read, gives practical ideas on how loved ones can be supportive and is not too long for readers to lose interest!
 
This booklet gets to the heart of why our friends and family have difficulty with understanding ongoing illness and pain. It serves as a tool to help explain to loved ones how extreme fatigue, pain, dizziness, cognitive impairments and other symptoms can be limiting, even though the person may not "look" sick or in pain. Moreover, it gives them simple, pragmatic ways to truly be an encouragement, "What to say," "What not to say" and "Why," along with "How to help."  Often loved ones are enlightened as to why their well-meaning advice is not always well-received. It is cherished by both those living with illness or injury, as well as those who love them!
 

But You LOOK Good!TM

 

A Guide to Understanding and Encouraging People

Living with Chronic Illness and Pain!

 

ONLY $5.25 or Less for Multi-Packs!

Price INCLUDES Shipping (slightly more for orders outside of the US)

 

Quantity Discount Packs Available!
 
But You LOOK Good! is printed and distributed by The Invisible Disabilities Advocate.  It is based upon the knowledge learned by the true life experiences of Wayne and Sherri Connell, as well as countless others who live with debilitating conditions.

Why This Book Was Written

All of her life, Sherri Connell was an extremely active person who loved her careers, singing and dancing in musicals, modeling, riding her horse and lifting weights. She started having health problems when she was 14, but did not know why. Despite chronic headaches, constant bouts with strep throat, the flu and bronchial pneumonia, Sherri was an active, goal oriented "go getter." In college, she studied Music Theatre, then obtained 2 Bachelor Degrees in Business, with a Minor in Liberal Arts.

    

Although Sherri had enormous plans and goals, her life took an unexpected turn. Just as she was plotting out her Master's Degree, she was stopped in her tracks at the age of 27. Starting with another winter bout of pneumonia, Sherri became paralyzed and so sick she could barely sit up. She was hospitalized and diagnosed with Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and it was later discovered she also had Late-Chronic Lyme Disease from a tick bite when she was 14. The diagnosis really did not scare her, because she figured she could still work and sing from a wheelchair. Nothing had ever stopped her before and nothing was going to stop her now!

    

Much to her dismay, her health never improved, but quickly worsened. Due to extreme flu-like symptoms such as bone-crushing fatigue, severe nerve pain, cognitive dysfunctions, memory loss, dizziness, heart arrhythmias, weakness, nausea and migraines, Sherri was never able to return to work. This was extremely difficult for her, because she had been working since she was 13 and her work was her life! She did regain some of the use of her legs through much rehabilitation, but she still cannot stand very long or walk very far. Sherri's life suddenly went from "on the go 24/7" to struggling just to get to a doctor's appointment, get a meal or take a shower.

    

Despite the seriousness of Sherri's illness, people often had difficulty understanding how she could "look good" to them, even though she was very sick. Unfortunately, because of these misconceptions, people often jumped to the conclusion that she was just being lazy, unmotivated or was not trying hard enough. For a goal oriented, talented, career driven person like Sherri, these notions were absolutely devastating. In fact, Sherri wanted her life back more than anyone as she continued to go from doctor to doctor, as well as try countless treatments, therapies and surgeries.

    

Unfortunately, Sherri remained plagued by hurtful comments and assumptions from those around her. Determined to grasp how people came to these conclusions, she began writing in her journal about her losses and the responses of others. In the article, "A Private Write," Rochelle Ratner explained, "The process of forming thoughts into words and the physical act of drawing the hand across the page, typing on a keyboard, or talking into a tape recorder slows rushing thoughts and pulls the attention into focus." Since Sherri continued to grapple with verbally explaining to people what she was going through, she began printing copies from her journal to share with others.

 

One day her husband, Wayne Connell, offered to post some of her journal entries on the internet so that they could just tell people, "Go check out the website," instead of stumbling to find the words to explain. Much to Wayne and Sherri’s amazement, as the word spread like wildfire, emails started pouring in from people around the globe. These readers who lived with various chronic conditions told countless personal stories of losing cherished relationships with friends and family members, because of the complexities of their "invisible" disabilities. Nonetheless, people were ecstatic to tell Wayne and Sherri that the journal entries had "put into words" exactly what they had been trying to say to their loved ones.

 

Wayne then discovered there were millions of other people around the world being hurt by the same lack of understanding and belief that Sherri was experiencing. His passion quickly grew from being his wife's supporter, to being an advocate for all who are living with disabilities.

    

Thus, Wayne founded, The Invisible Disabilities Advocate and compiled this booklet, But You LOOK Good!, which contains excerpts from Sherri’s journal. This booklet serves as a guide to enlightening people with "what to say," "what not to say" and "how to help" someone living with a debilitating condition. In order to give a voice to those living with chronic illness and pain, IDA prints and distributes this booklet.  Proceeds go to IDA, a Non-Profit Organization.

 

Help Loved Ones Understand!

 

"I just finished reading your booklet and feel like bawling in relief that you have identified and eloquently described what is helpful and what is not for people with chronic illness. You put into words what I have felt for 20 years! Now I can pass this information on to my family and friends and others who suffer." -Sandy, Colorado

 

Read More Testimonies on How This Booklet Has Helped Others!

 

Quantity Discount Packs Available!

What People Are Saying!

"I always wished I could find a booklet like this! The information on your site is great and since it's so hard to explain MS or other invisible disabilities to others, I am grateful to you for writing your booklet and making it available." - Brenda, Indiana 

"Terrific insights and communicated clearly...my husband said it finally opened his eyes to what I had been trying to say all these years. Thanks."   - Sue, New Jersey

"I just finished reading the [But You LOOK Good] booklet and although I found myself filling up with tears on almost each and every page, I enjoyed it immensely." - Bonnie, Rhode Island

 

"My husband read [the booklet] straight away and I actually got a cup of tea in bed this morning, what a treat!" - Kris, Australia

 

"This is the best book I have ever read in regard to invisible disabilities...I have had such a hard time explaining what I go through and how I feel. I cried and cried reading the book because it described me to a tee. I think you are a wonderful person for putting all of this in writing and making it understandable. Thank you so much." - Debbie, Virginia.

 

"I encouraged my mom to order your book, But You LOOK Good.  She said it's helped her to better understand that [just] because I look ok on the outside, doesn't mean I feel ok on the inside. I am grateful for your site and your book, I don't think my mom would have ever understood without it. She's passed it along throughout the family and everyone who has read it so far has had a better understanding of what just daily life does to me. Thank you so much for writing this book, and sharing it with us, it truly has been a godsend to me." - Kelli, Illinois.

"You have said what I have wanted to say to so many people for so many years. I have suffered with Crohn's disease for 35 years. I have never been able to find anyone who could really understand what it's like to suffer with an illness that can affect every aspect of my life all the while, looking (for the most part) normal on the outside. Not that I have been searching for pity, just some understanding. My thanks goes out to you!"  - Matt, Washington

"My Dad used to hassle me every single time that I saw him. It had gotten to the point that I rarely ever went to my Parents home anymore, and when I did it would be for no more than 10 minutes at a time and the times were rare. I gave my Mom and Dad each a copy of your booklet. I know that my Dad read the whole thing. He has been transformed, literally. He never says a word to me about my back injury anymore. He used to always say thing like 'You better hurry up and get back to work, or your going to lose your job.' Plus he was always really hostile to me over nothing. What an utter Blessing your booklet has been to me in my life. You put on paper 'exactly' the words that people who have never had a 'Chronic Illness' NEED to read. Thank you so very much for being responsible for getting some of the people in my life to clearly understand what all I have to go through just to manage to do the simplest of my daily needs, not to mention all of the things that I do that lay me up for days at a time." - Jerry, California

Read Testimonies About IDA From Those With Chronic Illness, Loved Ones,

Physicians, Authors and More!

 

Read More Testimonies About The Booklet

 

Use Them In Support Groups!

"The members were thrilled with the booklets! We had the group break into separate areas - tn'ers & support persons, and had lively discussions for several hours. The families and friends attending went over the booklets and discussed how they related dealing with their loved ones. They found so many good ideas and tips, it was truly an enlightening meeting for them!"..... Ruth, Pacific NW TNA Support Group Facilitator www.tna-support.org

 
Quantity Discount Packs Available!

Table of Contents

But You LOOK Good!

A Guide to Understanding and Encouraging People

Living with Chronic Illness and Pain!

Contents of Book:

 

About The Invisible Disabilities Advocate
What is an Invisible Disability?

About the Book

About the Authors
Dedication
Thanks
Foreword: A Tribute to an American Heroine


Part One: But You “LOOK” Good!

    

    What is a Chronic Condition?

     But They Don't "LOOK" Sick!

     They Have "Good" & "Bad" Days, Right?

     I Just Don't Understand!

     What If They "Give In" to the Illness?

 

     *Read an Excerpt of Part One Online!

 

Part Two: I Can Never Get it Right!

 

     Why Can't I Say the Right Thing?

     Can't I Just Try to Cheer Them Up?

     Why Do I Respond This Way?

 

Part Three: I Never Know What to Say!

 

     What Discourages Them?

     What Encourages Them?

 

Part Four: I Never Know What To Do!

 

     The Balancing Act!

     Where Do I Start?

     What Can I Do?

 

     *Read an Excerpt of Parts Three and Four Online!

 

Part Five: Conclusion

 

     Being a Comfort in the Storm.

 

Note! IDA reserves the right to make changes, edits in content without notice; and, the booklet differs slightly from the website!
 
Quantity Discount Packs Available!

 

But You LOOK Good!

© Copyright 1999 - 2008

The Invisible Disabilities Advocate

 

GoodSearch logo
Web This Site

 

Support This Site

Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free

 

CIA is Sponsored by IDA

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2006 The Invisible Disabilities Advocate. All Rights Reserved. 

IDA is a 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Organization.

Terms of Use.